Timeframe: summer/fall 2014
My mom, brother and sister had just moved out of my home on Mother’s Day. They moved back in with my dad even though his house was going into foreclosure. Because there was little money coming in, the house eventually had no electricity, no gas and no water. According to my dad, it had gotten so bad that my brother had body odor. He had to start filling empty water bottles every day at the neighbor’s house.
My mom texted me and said that some mail would be arriving at my house and she needed to know when it did. By the urgency, I assumed it was money–perhaps a loan check from her 401k.
The mail arrived, but no one was home to sign for it, so they sent it to the local FedEx office. She had to scrape up gas money to drive there and pick it up.
The next day I called her. She was out shopping with my brother–he needed a shirt or something for an event at church. So I said to her, “You have money now. Are you going to get the water at the house turned back on?”
All hell broke lose.
She berated me about a laundry list of things
- How it was pointless for her to pay because the house was being foreclosed anyway and they’d have to be out in a few weeks (Umm… don’t you and my brother need to shower and brush your teeth every day???)
- I always talk to her like I’m the mom and she’s the child (Well, if the shoe fits…)
- I always make it seem like she’s full of excuses (Yup)
She went on for a couple minutes, then said, “I’m not gonna have this conversation with you. I’m hanging up.”
And she did just that.
I didn’t hear her voice again for a full 4 months. She finally called me on my birthday. Although I do believe she missed me, I also think she was trying to butter me up because she knew she would be evicted soon and would need somewhere to go.
Narcissistic behaviors/traits displayed by mom:
- Highly reactive to criticism
- Very easily hurt and offended
- Hyper-sensitive to harmless comments